JoinedNovember 21, 2016
Articles32
Ayala has never been good at introducing herself. She enjoys bullet journaling, happy dancing, and making herself uncomfortable for the sake of compassion. She collects rubber ducks. You can find more of her creative work at crazyduckwoman.com.
I will always pick this philosophy that I have to tread lightly on or it will crack like yachatz.
I cannot lie down on it, lean left on it, like a soft pillow and find comfort in it like fresh bread.
There is always so much- bug. There’s a beauty to doing this, sitting with my about-to-be-salad, checking for bugs. If I used this kind of attitude in my daily life, I would be a much more- bug. Isn’t lettuce mostly water?
When did life get so full? I feel like every aspect of my life is full of God, how do I talk about that?
The night before I couldn't sleep, my soul quivering in its earthly body...the awkward part is, this is the first year I genuinely forgot...
I was taught that the story of the Jewish people lives in small apartments with broken bathtubs but a too large dining room table. I was taught things I might have learned literally anywhere else but never had the chance to.
People will pretend like they are happy for you, but when you are twenty-two, sometimes people will look at you as if you have thrown your whole life away. How dare you try to balance a family and yourself? Why is “me” not a part of my family?
I need to make a mess. Life is messy. Bloody. Full of spit-up and pee and you’re helpless and you need me and I need to accept that I actually need to wash my sheets more than every other week now. Or maybe not.
But every time I whipped the external hard drive out, or put some files in my Google Drive, I asked myself- did I make something worth saving?
How many times do we as women push ourselves to go to sleep “just an hour later”, skip that meal, run out to do a chore that “can’t wait until tomorrow” because we hear our families singing Eishet Chayil in our heads and wish we felt like we deserved it?
Create.
Opportunities for yourself.
Hold your foot in the door even though it’s slamming into your foot over and over again.
When the door closes,
Kick that wall until you break open another try.