Snow In May

It’s snowing outside and I’m supposed to pretend like that’s not terrifying, so I sit in my front hallway, watching the snow flurry through the blooming trees with my toddler son in awe on my lap. 

and I’m wondering if my tomato plants are going to make it. I wonder if any of us is going to make it. 

and it’s not the craziest thing going on right now

and I wish there was something I could do to make that reality. 

and I wonder if this is God’s idea of a joke. I don’t want jokes right now. 

and it’s so fervent it’s clear it won’t last long and I wonder if that’s a message. 

and I wonder if this is a letter sent by the heavens of encouragement. 

and I sincerely expect mashiach riding down the block on a donkey. 

and I wonder if this is proof that time is an illusion. 

and it’s not sticking

and it’s over.