I did a lot of scary things over the last few days. I co-hosted an hour long, live radio show in Hebrew. I recorded at least 12 different videos wearing a pixie cut, blue wig and posted them on my youtube channel – (I deleted most of them, but still, just doing it was a bold move for me). My kids filmed me lip syncing to Otis Redding blasting from my car speakers while we drove through an “Ultra Orthodox”neighborhood before Shabbos.
Why, you may wonder?
I’ll tell you.
Because I expect great things from myself, and I don’t believe that awesomeness is possible without a willingness to push towards the outer edge of self, even if that means crashing and burning from time to time.
Because it was hard, and way outside my comfort zone and I think that it’s important to get good at doing things that are hard and uncomfortable.
Because a mentor of mine thought it would be a powerful learning tool and help move me beyond my desire for perfection. (True dat).
Because I have a tendency to take myself and my work very seriously, so seriously in fact that I get headaches and ignore the people that love and support me the most. This exercise was about dimming the lights on the Serious Monster and flippin’ him the bird.
So, did I succeed?
Well, I did some embarrassing things in public. So I can check that box.
I learned some potent lessons in humility. Check.
I produced weird, nonsensical and quirky stuff with a willingness to look foolish (like, really foolish). Check. Check. And check.
I did it sober. (ish).
I was really hoping to post a video that was crazy enough to share with you… but really, everything I shot was just a shade below True… a little shy of totallyauthentic.
In other words, I think I tried too hard.
But, I’m grateful for the lesson in that too. And I’m going to keep trying, hopefully just hard enough.
(cue: “I get knocked down, but I get up again”).
Please G-d, may this Purim usher in an abundance of fat, juicy moments worth living for, worth looking silly for.
May we all know joy that overflows, boundless gratitude for the gift of being alive, acknowledgement of both our smallness and our greatness, and use of all we’ve got towards the service of others.
In the merit total authenticity of self; being our most real and our most true, please accept this picture along with this poem, by the French poet, Charles Baudelaire, as my blessing for us all this Purim and for every day really.
Live it up folks.
One should always be drunk.
That’s all that matters.
So as not to feel
the Time’s horrible burden
that bruises your shoulders,
and grinds you into the earth,
You must get drunk without ceasing.
But what with?
With wine, with poetry, or with virtue as you choose.
But get drunk.
And if at some time, you happen to wake up
on the steps of a palace,
or in the green grass of a ditch,
or in the bleak solitude of your own room,
your waking up when drunkenness already abated,
ask the wind,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
everything that speaks,
ask them what time it is;
and the wind,
“It is time to get drunk!
So that you may not be the martyred slaves of Time,
And never pause for rest.
With wine, with poetry or with virtue as you choose.”