Tonight I just wanted to sleep aloneeach touch of skin and furtive blanket movement
nails across the blackboard of my sleep.
Sometimes I pray because I don’t know what else to dothen drive myself crazy till sunset.
Freed prisoners will commit a crimeto return to the solace of jail.
I’ve been listening to music by dead peoplehoping to set their souls at ease
though it might be because there’s nothingI want to listen to.
Tonight I am having trouble surrenderingto the night, my body quaking
with each wave of thought, unable to disconnectfrom the maelstrom of my head
How I wish for something diagnosableThe ability to put a limit to my problems, say this is it
draw a box around themthen step outside it
G-d just seems to never want tonight to endI open the blinds to the field of unblinking stars
Wondering what happens if I start walking among themand don’t stop till I reach what comes next______Image from page 138 of The call of the stars; a popular introduction to a knowledge of the starry skies with their romance and legend (1919)