Thoughts I’ve Had While Davening On Rosh Hashana

My sheitel is so swooshy.

Wait, am I allowed to answer to Kaddish during this section? Is it worse to answer if I’m not supposed to or not answer if I am supposed to?

I love these u’v’cheins. Why do people think Rosh Hashana davening is so hard? This is really fabulous.

Oh, right, mussaf. I forgot. Mussaf is much much longer than shacharis. Why do I never remember this?

Why did I wear high heels?

I can never say this psalm fast enough to recite it seven times, ugh.

Am I blocking someone’s exit by davening here?

Oh nevermind they’re squeezing by me anyways.

Okay, u’v’cheins again, good, good, these I know.

Still mussaf. Oh my gosh. No. No. Focus. It’s Rosh Hashana.

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Why didn’t I review this more when I had the chance?

Sorry, shofros, I never have the stamina to really focus on you. It’s not you, it’s me.

My stomach is so itchy.

But if I rub olive oil on it I’ll just smell like salad.

Is the food warming up too much?

Next year I’m going to do better.


Photo by Chase Clark on Unsplash