Stop Talking About The Shidduch Crisis


Can we all just stop talking
As if older singles are walking
The plank
To their oblivion?

Because the only crisis I see,
(And I can only speak for me)
Is that words such as these
Make things seem…



That word results in subsequent panic
And becoming frantic
At the imagining of a titanic-sized


As if society
Has caused
A rapidly spreading
Unnatural disaster,
A kind of cancer.
A severe, uncontrollable drought
Of ‘Happily Ever After’s.

As if an alarm must be raised
So that young people can be saved
Lest they die
From the devastating fate
Of singledom.


Singles begin to feel the tone
Of the word ‘crisis’
In their bones.
Even if they’re not so bothered
At the thought that for a while,
They might be alone.
Because they see good things
bout being on their own.

They do care
About being left behind.

As ‘girls night’ goes from a group of 8,
To ‘I can’t come because I’m on a date,’
To ‘save the dates,’
To ‘due dates,’
To ‘what was his weight!?’
To ‘I can’t relate!’ anymore.

Because all of your friends are nursing babies
While you’re nursing a dinner for two
By yourself.

Which is a thing you’d normally love
Because your relationship with food
Is levels above
Most romantic relationships.

But then you hear that word.


That word
Can cause you to feel like you’re stuck
In the kiddy dating pool
Whereas everyone else who’s cool
Gets to dive into ‘adult swim only’ areas.

People speak about a social reality
Of boys wanting girls who are younger
But discussions like these
Leave girls who are older
Feeling under.

Feeling less.

Well, I’m here to say

There is no such thing
As a shidduch crisis.

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There is just you.
And your specific life situation.

Your friends may have departed at other stations,
But you carry a ticket to different destination.

You are not meant to be on their trains.

I think it’s odd
That we preach
About an all powerful G-d
And how we are awed
By his omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence.
But think that somehow,
He forgets some things.

You have NOT been forgotten,

You have been chosen
For different opportunities.

Each of us is chosen
For different opportunities.

If you’ve reached an age
Where many others are already engaged,
And people start telling you that you need to change
Let this thought assuage,
Lest you panic:

Are no more single now
Than you were when you were 19.

Are no more single now
Than you were when your best friend was single.

Although sometimes, I know that it feels that way

are ok.


Because you
Are impossible to miss.

The idea of a shidduch crisis
Is a figment of society’s imagination
That only serves as a conflagration
That burns fear in the hearts
Of those who need their hearts the most.

Don’t buy into it.

Go forth and (pro)create!
You, my single friend, needn’t wait.
To begin making this world great.
To stop living a life you hate
And start building the life you anticipate.
You have been blessed with this time to integrate

Who you want to be
Into who you are.

I cannot overstate
How important that is.

So let’s stop talking about the shidduch crisis
And start talking about how beautiful life is.
In that everything that happens is
The way it is meant to be.

We’re all on our own journey.