I’m Rochel, And I’m NOT Out Of The Box

When people tell me I’m ‘out of the box’, I’m not sure whether or not it’s a compliment. Hypothetically speaking, if there was a box representing ‘normal’ thought patterns and behaviors, mothers everywhere would encourage their kids to hang out inside of the cardboard boundaries. It sounds safe in there. Cozy. Those ‘inside box’ people sound like good influences.

As a result, many of you Out-of-the-Boxers probably try scaling the brown sides and making your way into the inner circle. You endeavor to highlight one aspect of yourself so that you fit in with a group… any group. You try assigning a shape to your personality – be it a box or a sphere or a pyramid – because otherwise you don’t know where you belong. And although you thought you’d grown past it, you may have the same dilemma you had in your high school lunch room: where do I sit? Do I mesh with the intellectuals? The chillers? The rebels?

And (if you’re anything like me) you sadly realize that you fit in with everyone and no one at the same time. You simultaneously fit and defy every stereotype.

You might be the type of person who feels alone in a crowded room. You might be the sort who has many friends, but at night you ponder how many people REALLY get you. And thats a good question. You’re an individual and being an individual can be difficult and lonely – especially in a structured society. I mean, honestly, society sends some pretty mixed messages. It tells you, “be yourself,” but then scolds you after every action, “no, no, silly! Not like that.”

If any of the above rings true, you’re certainly not ‘in the box’. Because who you are can never be squished into a box. Because your energy is too explosive for any place but open fields and diamond skies.

And honestly? Chances are that you’re not truly Out-of-the-Box either. I myself am certainly not. I’m pretty square in many ways: I’m a Chabad Jew, I pray twice a day, I zealously cover my elbows with clothing even in skin-melting heat, and I’m pursuing a profession in the sciences like a good Jewish American Princess should.

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My Out-of-the-Boxness and In-the-Boxness sometimes have issues getting along.

I live my life with both an air of hippy-esqe freedom and a firm dedication to the boundaries of religious commandments. I believe that G-d is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good and yet I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I get angry and disappointed with Him. I have been blessed and cursed to both feel things too deeply and think too much.

And that is why I write. I write because my words are one of the only places that I can be myself in my entirety. The self that goes beyond labels. The self that leaves rooms for a union of opposites.

If you relate to anything I’ve written, this site is for you. It’s the website you’ve been waiting for. Hevria is created by individuals who spill their souls through their sentences. Here, you have permission to join others in acknowledging your originality. To think colorfully. To relate to your religion in the way that only creative thinkers can.

For creative thinkers are neither In-the-Box, nor Out-of-the-Box. We just are.