#ForeverAlone On Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day. You can’t help but notice it. I mean, all of the signs are bright red. And there are copious amounts of chocolate everywhere.

Valentine’s day has a long history of being a Pagan Holiday. Apparently, Roman priests used to sacrifice a goat, dip the hide in blood, and then parade through the streets whilst slapping women with the bloody flesh as a charm for fertility. Then, later in the day, single women would have their names placed in a large urn, to be picked by young bachelors.

Despite its bloody origins, Vday has developed to be a symbol of all things Love and heart shaped.

Now, while couples the world over have spent the week before February 14th planning romantic date nights, I’ve been busy collecting Single Humor and planning a big night out with the current love of my life: Food.

Don’t have a date this Valentine’s Day (or the day before, or the day after)? That’s okay. Half the internet feels you. And they’ve made memes to prove it.

So fill your ‘Love Being Single’ coffee mug with some wine and tears and tuck in for the best #ForeverAlone memes that the internet has to offer.



There’s that moment you remember that Valentine’s Day is coming up next week. And that you’re still single:



Like, Entirely Single:



And most of the time, being single is totally fine:


Really… It’s fine:


After all, you can do anything that people in relationships can do: 


But sometimes, being single seems to be the root of all of your problems:


And you feel the lack of something entirely necessary in your life:



Specifically around Valentine’s Day, you begin feeling different from the rest of coupled humanity:



You might even feel yourself descending into the realm of Desperate:



Or, even worse, into the realm of Really Desperate:



To the extent that you’ve started forming romantic attachments to things like Ice Cream:



Ice Cream and Pizza:



Because Pizza will never leave you:



Now, people are always curious about whether or not you’re dating someone:

[sc name="ad-300x600"]

(Although, google ads seem to just know):



And then you’ll have your brother, who just assumes that you’re single (actual text message from my brother):


Upon hearing your relationship status, you’ll always get those one or two people who ask you, ‘why’:



Often, they’ll start giving advice on how to get the guy/girl:

Screen Shot 2016-02-09 at 9.49.12 PM


Like, ‘Be yourself. But… maybe just a little at a time’:



Now, it’s not like you’re incapable of dating. You’ve had relationships in the past:



Even if the other person didn’t really know that the two of you were in a relationship:


And even by objective standards, some of your relationships have gotten pret-ty intense:



You’ve even had some deep texting conversations:



But for some reason, nothing has ever worked out:



But that’s ok. Because, Life is Good. And you’re awesome: 



I’ll say it again: You. Are. Awesome:



And it’s only a matter of time before the love of your life finds you:



And builds up the courage to tell you s/he likes you:

Screen Shot 2016-02-12 at 12.21.01 AM


S/he is probably just really really bad at directions:



So, from my heart to yours: Enjoy life. And Happy Valentine’s Day.