is there a loving home out there somewhere? or is it this very air I breathe? is there any quest at all, or just sinking deeper into the waters of peace?
when will I stop trying to grow? to wake, to sleep to heal, to control to let go
where does all my love go in this world of action? when will I hold my dreams but not my breath?
when will the feminine unite with the masculine the action with the inaction when will there be a melding of this harsh divide of gender roles, of time, space, inside and outside, night and day, moon and sun when will daybreak laugh the night away, and sunset kiss the day goodbye when will they remain distinct but embracing saturating each other fully giving birth to a new dance?
maybe one day my heart will rest in God’s home or His heart in my home maybe some day God’s abode will suffice for me too maybe one day I’ll tell everyone how much I love them
maybe one day Jerusalem will expand to fill the whole world and that unlimited energy of loving God will flow through me peacefully, humbly, unceasingly transparently infinite
my spirit arising in fire bursting out of the holy waters of infinite Being that soothing balm that drowns me in deafening silence
where is the fire of my inception, the Bereishit – the BritEish – the covenant with fire that passion that begins the journey
can you rebuild Your Holy Temple with the flame of love? that one that loves You by loving life unconditionally the people, sights, smells exactly as You appear to me every day in its new revelation of silence and of noise
to love Your messy, transformative, creative erratic world not just my own steady heartbeat to locate an essence separate from pain and expand from there
maybe one day my body will work while my soul rests finding a home in this world of action saturated and sustained not punctuated by the peaceful breaths unified in the Giver of all Life
maybe one day I’ll go through my whole day feeling God’s peace pervading all new and old excitements and frustrations all building and learning, creation and progress, and roadblocks all with infinite ease
and the end of the day won’t find me perplexed wondering why I was yet again dragged a million miles from home, fighting the whole way, begging to be released why I spent the day wandering in strangers’ fields, sighing like the actor who can finally remove the mask after the curtains close
maybe one day when the curtain goes down I’ll celebrate the performance that brought smiles to those beautiful faces in the audience, and even to my own and gleefully start painting my next mask
maybe one day I will travel peacefully in a world I call home and all travel will be within the gates of God illumined by the light of the Holy Temple and no one will have to fight to call Jerusalem their own