Today’s Terror Attack… At My Doorstep

First it hit my ears
– the helicopters overhead.
I am an expert
at calculating the distance and location
the precise placement
of a nightmare.
First it hits the ears…

And it’s funny how the mind works…
Because i sat there – bemused for several moments
distracting myself with a fresh crop of puns
like fruits in a basket
I tasted the letters
like sour candies in my mouth
– Hell
– hellooo
– hello-copters
– hell-a-lot-a-copters
yes, that’s the one
– ‘Thats a hell-a-lot-a-copters for a monday morning mother’

A flash of slight amusement
and then denial, afterall, ‘Surely its nothing special’
but next the sirens
and it’s an ensemble already.
My ears the undeniable
first responders to all calamity.

With my trigger
finger hot on the keyboard
my news source.
Refresh – refresh – re’frickin’fresh!

– My familiar dance of impatient jitters
to the tune of J-town downtown helicopter-
blades slicing the space
where my children play.

I pick up my baby and rock the heck out of him
and get lost in the love of innocence for another moment
as i wait for the news to catch up to
my reality.

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Finally, two female terrorists
teenagers no less
at the shuk
my shuk
my hood
my home
my kids
my people
My G!d

And I recall a few days prior
as I stood over the produce at my mehadrin grocer just off of Yafo
and how i got that clear clean hit of
‘sh*t –
what if’
‘what if they come now, now as i stand here over the clementinas
and the thin-skinned
green pears that my daughter likes best
and stab that skinny plaid grocer at the check-out counter
or that grandmother in floral patterns
or me me me
me and my baby?

And I remember how I prayed hard and harrowed and dire
clenched closed eyes and cried
“Please, Protector-of-Your-people
just keep us safe from danger
let no blood-let mar my market place.
Please Sweet G!d of grandmothers and grocers and little girls and their mothers…”

I remember walking home crazy-
heavy from the shuk that day
with a ‘this-isn’t-over-yet’ reminder to self
to do online shopping next time
and I am now reading the details
of how indeed
a few steps from my market-place-reverie
2 female terrorists
were foiled in their madness

And I guess I should thank G!d for the protection
but instead i am clenching my baby again
and signing up for online shopping
with sad eyes, slight anger
– and I’m writing
a news cast from a Jerusalem Jewess
down the street from the market
and her 2 female terrorists.